I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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