the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
