I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So many bounce houses so little time
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
