This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
