ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
