So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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