MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
