Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
