maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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