I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
