Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
accomplished twins. life is a go
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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