His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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