well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
