And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
