Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
