I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
