Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize