hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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