Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
ok first of all what the fuck
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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