I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
