I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
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No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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