The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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