he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
