Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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