Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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