Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
