Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
