i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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