She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
