not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
