I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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