Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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