I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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