the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
