so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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