she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
