We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize