Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
