why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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