so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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