"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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