Sponge bath it is.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
