How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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