just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
