More tranny stories later!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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