Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
