I just cut my nipple shaving
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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