weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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