So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
