I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
