she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
