I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
