Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Randomize