allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
