hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
