people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
