Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
