This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
