Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize