"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
